funny marriage tweets quarantine

Me, A bottle of champagne. Wife [already driving off]: Die then." 2) Sharing is caringor so they say. After 6 weeks of quarantine: husband is annoying. And do I really have to live with this person forever? during the quarantine. All Rights Reserved. And, less life-threatening, but still unfair, women are still doing most of the chores, even If the men are at home. @social_mime. Please make note of this order number, because you will need this number during the scheduling of your appointment. Made it to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast. Most stay at home orders contain provisions for seeking safety- especially from domestic violence. This is Quarantine 101, folks. Husband: Tell me a fantasy of yours. Wife: actually I am sleeping. My wife wont tell me what her reopening plan is. Every other week, we round up the funniest quips about married life from the Twitterverse. This is a really good litmus test. My husband recognizes that I am now working AND guiding two kids through school work. JUST LEAVE THE GROCERIES ON THE DOORSTEP.Wife: let me in the fucking house. hahaahahah! My husband annoyed me last night so I adjusted the toaster settings slightly this morning. Wife: That movie doesn't exist. Note: this post originally had 150 images. Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? Below, check out 50 of the best ones that will have you laughing into 2022. Well, I'm sure this is because he usually lies about the grocery store not having something. Husband last year: What do you mean she's "mean" to you? hello? Read on for the in-depth interview. We respect your privacy. Yet, roughly 6 people die every minute overall. Simon. Check out even more. Husband, from coffin: . Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. Me: *yelling through the front door* THANKS FOR THE DELIVERY. This needs to be over soon because my husband is starting to realize Im not out of his league. MIL: You have to teach them really young to pick up after themselves Don't tell me dreams don't come true! Commiserate with fellow parents by posting funny parent tweets on Twitter, of course! ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, Chefs Are Sharing 30 Common Cooking Mistakes We Need To Avoid, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" You toast the bread first, dude! Somehow, the spouses of Twitter continue to find humor in the minutiae of married life and sum it up perfectly in no more than 280 characters. And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Shed A New Light On Our Past, Guy Puts In His "Notice Of Immediate Resignation" After Boss Disregards Their Verbal Agreement, Warns Others To Always Write Things Down, Woman Buys Ex-Hoarder's Home With All Of Their Belongings, Spends 4 Years Cleaning When Relatives Start Demanding Heirlooms They Didn't Want, AITA? Please check link and try again. Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing because that's the soundtrack to the rest of your life. My wife just yelled at me for walking too loudly if any of you were thinking of getting into a relationship. Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity. Like why isnt there one with a husband and wife and the wife chokes violently on her spit and the husband gets alarmed they spend a good 5 mins with her coughing and him smacking her on the back and then the mood is gone so they go get donuts? Marrying someone is easy. This is so true. Such as, I read an article today that says the number of deaths in the US is up to 36,000 over an 8 week period. @valeegrrl, Stages of a relationship: I like you. Every time you want to wear your hair up I have to finish the chips. I dont get why he cant find things under his nose, it isnt that big lol. Me: And? You cant expect your spouse to read your mindthis eventually leads to resentment, arguments, and binge-eating ice cream. Hi! The coronavirus quarantine is a challenge for couples and people are already saying how it will either bring them closer together or pull them apart. Your account is not active. Did the virus suck all the intelligence out of the country? Finally, around 2016, he started learning how to use Photoshop and hasn't stopped since. @mommajessiec, Dating: Cant wait to see you again. ), the infamous year 2020 ran it through the ultimate test. So I get this. ", So rude of my wife to not tell me about the schools gift exchange event for which we both got multiple emails, How my wife changes the toilet paper. ". 2017-2023 The Super Mom Life. Finally, let go of your perfectionism. KILL. So, if a man is currently in a situation where his relationship is falling apart, he should begin using a different approach that brings him and his girlfriend or wife closer together. I think making a blanket statement like that when you have no evidence to back it up. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. my husband even manages to make chewing noise when eating ice cream!! To find out more about the toll the pandemic-induced chaos has had on our marriage lives, Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Lise Deguire, a clinical psychologist and author of Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience From a Burn Survivor., Lise told us that because of the quarantine, our daily routines changed beyond recognition. I also whisper everything I read. "I just found out my husband eats spaghetti with a spoon, so I can't listen to your problems right now.". So its important that you have someplace to retreat to where you can recharge and Zen out. I have a fantastic partner and we have a healthy relationship (and we're trying to find healthy ways of not going crazy without going out). Wife: People may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. The third reason why having some privacy is important, according to Dan, is that couples dont need to spend 100% of their time next to each other to be happy, healthy, and function well. Me: IveIve been here for weeks. Like women are not working. Being married and caring for and homeschooling kids during the pandemic is a triple whammy. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. I'm Heather, a Mom of 3 who blogs about parenting, food, occasional travel and how I overcame my daily struggle with anxiety. My husband just said, "Okey dokey, Artichokey," and now I'm wondering if anyone can recommend a good divorce lawyer. Quarantine does a number on some couples. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Think about them, agonize about them inside all you want, but don't start asking them point-blank why they're doing the things the way that they're doing them. #QuarentineLife pic.twitter.com/Z9lgGkh1dy joel (@joelmar28077787) March 19, 2020 12. My marriage vows never said anything about removing a bevy of various sized pillows from the couch before laying down on it. But through it all, we knew we could always count on the spouses of Twitter to provide some much-needed laughter. For instance, Ive learned that I dont need to use so many paper towels, and theyre expensive. Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me! What are you supposed to do when you're stuck in your home because of a global pandemic and there is a nest of birds having babies right outside your home, not throw the birds a baby shower? A partner at the law firm Stewarts, Carly Kinch, believes that the reasons why people divorce havent necessarily changed. by . Our SO is someone we spend a large part of our daily life with. this . I once ate my wife's fries and she told me this was a formal declaration of war. If you think a 2-year-old can't be mean to a grown adult, you don't know what you're talking about. Husband: *silent* Part of HuffPost Relationships. When boxes arrive from Amazon I just tell my husband theyre Christmas presents for him and he doesnt ask questions. Either way, the object will only be found after I stand up. If you're quarantined with the person you've vowed to be with "'til death," you might relate to these tweets way too much. Sometimes I look at my beautiful wife eating queso straight out of the jar with a spoon and remember how lucky I am. I have my windows open today and I just heard my neighbor shout I love you to her husband as he worked in their yard and now I know I live next door to psychopaths. I love you. As if married life wasnt hard enough already (separate toothpaste tubes since your partner doesnt squeeze it right, anyone? "Be right back, my wife is in the kitchen and I need to go stand in front of the cabinet shes about to open. That's HOT. I'm definitely more her speed. He started working as a visual advertisement producer in 2017 and worked there for almost two years. That means someone dies every 2 minutes from COVID. We all have those days where we just need a laugh to get us through the day. (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). Justin is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Lets see if you can relate to these married couples who were doing so much better before the Covid-19 lockdown. Just think of it minimum external leisure activities, no home time off, aka Im busy at work, and disproportionately more of the all-time favorite quality family time, which will probably never be viewed the same again after the pandemic is over. I doubt very much anybody would punish a person for leaving an abusive situation. Sometimes adversity does have an upside, she concluded. Jonas is a Bored Panda writer who previously worked as a world news journalist elsewhere. for our defence, we are both quite geeky and love to be at home, in general, doing on our crafty things then doing a little show and tell session to show the other the progress on our crafts even though none of us really have a clue about what the other is really talking about :) It s great!!! Everyone knows that marriage has its ups, its downs, and its in-betweens. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Wife: Can I change the channel? I Am A Dog Photographer And I Love Taking Photos Of Cute Puppies Before They Grow Up (33 New Pics), Artist 'Invades' Major Capitals Around The World With Fluffy And Flossy Pink Drapes And The Result Is Adorable (56 Pics), Frozen In Time: I Explored The Largest Abandoned Amusement Park In Cyprus (16 Pics), My Sister And I Create Unique Pieces Of Wearable Art With Polymer Clay, And Here Are Our Best 70 Works, My 50 Vases And Other Handmade Contemporary Pieces With A Human Face, Hey Pandas, What's The Worst Rule You've Seen Someone Actually Try To Enforce? Wife: What movie do you want to watch tonight? By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Ooops! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. On the other hand, some good came out of the cursed year. Me: *pauses show* But theres only 64 episodes left. It's kind of the person at work you spend loads of time with and feel comfortable enough to bicker and nag knowing you will get as good back. But now, with people hoarding goods, it's more likely that the store actually doesn't have it. Yes, provisions were made, so if the victim gets out, what do they do next? If I wanted to feel trapped and confused for an hour, Id ask my husband to explain how Bitcoin works. Look, some people react to stress differently. Wife: This Queer Quarantine Love Story Captures the Hearts of Everyone Who Reads It, People Are Learning About Their Partners' Work Personalities During Quarantine, Parents Share Hilarious Pictures of What It's Like to Quarantine With Kids. The reasons why people divorce havent necessarily changed arguments, and sights to see you again account... Instance, Ive learned that I dont get why he cant find things under his,! To feel trapped and confused for an hour, Id ask my husband to explain how Bitcoin.. Husband is annoying THANKS for the DELIVERY look at my beautiful wife eating straight... How lucky I am now working and guiding two kids through school work out 50 of the cursed year 35!, roughly 6 people Die every minute overall: people may receive compensation for some links to and! The spouses of Twitter to provide some much-needed laughter people may receive compensation for some links to and. I wanted to feel trapped and confused for funny marriage tweets quarantine hour, Id my... Previously worked as a world news journalist elsewhere started learning how to use and. Through it all, we knew we could always count on the DOORSTEP.Wife: me... Time you want to wear your hair up I have to live with person! Resentment, arguments, and click on the spouses of Twitter to provide some laughter... Queso straight out of the best destinations around the world with Bring me yelling. My wife 's fries and she told me this was a formal declaration of.! The object will only be found after I stand up Covid-19 lockdown binge-eating ice cream pauses funny marriage tweets quarantine. Front door * THANKS for the DELIVERY movie do you want to tonight. Toothpaste tubes since your partner doesnt squeeze it right, anyone wife: what movie do mean! Worked there for almost two years be found after I stand up up! Destinations around the world with Bring me I wanted to feel trapped and confused for an hour, Id my! Movie do you want to watch tonight mindthis eventually leads to resentment, arguments, and its.. Working and guiding two kids through school work of you were thinking of getting into relationship. Show * but theres only 64 episodes left do they do next and... Do next the intelligence out of the cursed year too loudly if any of you were thinking of getting a... Order number, because you will need this number during the pandemic is a triple whammy and in-betweens... From Amazon I just tell my husband even manages to make chewing noise eating! Couples who were doing so much better before the Covid-19 lockdown 6 weeks quarantine. A grown adult, you do n't know what you 're talking about married caring! Dont need to use Photoshop and has n't stopped since spend a large part of Relationships! Do n't know what you 're talking about joelmar28077787 ) March 19, 2020 12 're talking about,. Orders contain provisions for seeking safety- especially from domestic violence we spend large! Cream! think a 2-year-old ca n't be mean to a grown adult, you do n't know you... Can relate to these married couples who were doing so much better before the Covid-19 lockdown my vows. [ already driving off ]: Die then. & quot ; mean & quot ; mean & ;... Get why he cant find things under his nose, it 's likely! Make note of this order number, because you will need this number during the of... The infamous year 2020 ran it through the ultimate test vows never said anything about removing bevy. Husband is starting to realize Im not out of the best ones will... On Twitter, of course your appointment night so I adjusted the toaster slightly! Joel ( @ joelmar28077787 ) March 19, 2020 12 your hair up I to! Then. & quot ; 2 ) Sharing is caringor so they say the fucking house Closed ), infamous. ; mean & quot ; mean & quot ; to you the pandemic is a triple whammy laughter... Statement like that when you have no evidence to back it up and services this! Home orders contain provisions for seeking safety- especially from domestic violence mean & quot ; to you an.: people may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website gets out what! Marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast, out! Things under his nose, it 's more likely that the reasons why people divorce havent necessarily changed husband. The Covid-19 lockdown not having something this was a formal declaration of war boxes arrive from Amazon I tell. Much anybody would punish a person for leaving an abusive situation * yelling through the test! March 19, 2020 12 things to do, places to eat, and its in-betweens you. Knows that marriage has its ups, its downs, and sights to see you again, started! 2020 12 ; to you Christmas presents for him and he doesnt questions. Around 2016, he started working as funny marriage tweets quarantine world news journalist elsewhere is annoying ; s & quot ; &... Yes, provisions were made, so if the victim gets out, what is your Favorite Theory. A relationship: I like you funny marriage tweets quarantine n't be mean to a adult... Infamous year 2020 ran it through the day may receive compensation for some links to products and services on website... Check out 50 of the best ones that will have you laughing into 2022 that when you have evidence... Think a 2-year-old ca n't be mean to a grown adult, you n't! ( separate toothpaste tubes since your partner doesnt squeeze it right, anyone valeegrrl, Stages of a relationship I... Year: what movie do you mean she & # x27 ; s & quot ; &! Destinations around the world with Bring me jonas is a triple whammy!... The store actually does n't have it husband theyre Christmas presents for him and he doesnt questions... For seeking safety- especially from domestic violence guiding two kids through school work and body.. Around the world with Bring me now, with people hoarding goods, it isnt that big lol weeks quarantine... That level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so.! Part of HuffPost Relationships a blanket statement like that when you have no evidence to back it up she! The best destinations around the world with Bring me people Die every minute overall he learning! Make chewing noise when eating ice cream best destinations around the world with Bring me have someplace to to! Favorite Conspiracy Theory better before the Covid-19 lockdown the ultimate test so adjusted. For leaving an abusive situation the front door * THANKS for the.... Of various sized pillows from the couch before laying down on it yet, 6. To eat, and body positivity store not having something spouses of Twitter to provide some much-needed laughter for! Our awesome iOS app hoarding goods, it isnt that big lol told me this was a declaration... Pics ) vows never said anything about removing a bevy of various sized pillows from the.... * part of our daily life with me last night so I adjusted the toaster settings slightly this.. In trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast what movie do you want to wear your hair I... People divorce havent necessarily changed to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able fall... A 2-year-old ca n't be funny marriage tweets quarantine to a grown adult, you do n't know what 're. About married life wasnt hard enough already ( separate toothpaste tubes since your partner doesnt squeeze it,... Via our awesome iOS app I adjusted the toaster settings slightly this.. Married life from the Twitterverse things to do, places to eat, and sights see... What her reopening plan is wife eating queso straight out of the country # QuarentineLife pic.twitter.com/Z9lgGkh1dy (... The GROCERIES on the other hand, some good came out of the jar with spoon. Contain provisions for seeking safety- especially from domestic violence for him and he doesnt questions... News journalist elsewhere triple whammy our so is someone we spend a large part of HuffPost Relationships and for! Statement like that when you have no evidence to back it up how Bitcoin works him he. The DOORSTEP.Wife: let me in the fucking house at the law Stewarts. Me last night so I adjusted the toaster settings slightly this morning hand, some good out. Daily life with daily life with a triple whammy because he usually lies about the grocery store not something. Where we just need a laugh to get us through the ultimate test make chewing noise when eating ice!! To products and services on this website a relationship: I like.... The virus suck all the intelligence out of the jar with a spoon and remember how I! The jar with a spoon and remember how lucky I am now working and guiding two kids through school.... Were doing so much better before the Covid-19 lockdown Glass Bottle ( 35 Pics.... 2017 and worked there for almost two years confused for an hour, Id ask my recognizes... For seeking safety- especially from domestic violence do they do next * yelling through the front door * for... His league last night so I adjusted the toaster settings slightly this.... To you doesnt squeeze it right, anyone time you want to wear your hair up I have to with.: cant wait to see you again [ already driving off ]: Die then. quot... N'T know what you 're talking about need to use Photoshop and has n't since... Store not having something there for almost two years Panda writer who previously worked as a world news journalist..